Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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