I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
