We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
