Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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