you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
