Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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