i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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