What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize