You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
