Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My ass is underappreciated
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
