So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
