May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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