Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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