I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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