So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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