dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
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just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
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A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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