well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
