you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
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CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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