take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize