I need help removing her.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
