it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
