My room smells like vodka and shame
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
