doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
