so explain again why im purple
no
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
