Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
