I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
