I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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