chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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