i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize