apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
