its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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