just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
