first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
