so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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