Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
