idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
