I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
