Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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