My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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