omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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