We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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