I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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