I'm gonna have a badass scar
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
