porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize