i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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