it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
