Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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