Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I've blown a few things in my day
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
