dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Im part way to drunk.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
