This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
