But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
...so i touched it.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
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Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
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This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize