Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
