at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
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Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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