So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
