Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize