Bisexual people are plain selfish.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i need some magic done to my vagina
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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