I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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