Pants 0. Shit 1.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
