Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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