Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
