He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
